I Used To...

I used to believe in fairytales; Life was simple then, and even though bad things happen in fairytales, I was so much happier believing in them.

I used to believe that what goes around comes around; I now tend more to lean toward what goes around stays there. And what comes around comes around again to kick you while you’re down.

I used to spend my days smiling and my nights crying. I don’t cry any more. Maybe I was happier when I did. Somewhere along the way I ran out of tears. Now I’m trapped, with no way to let the pain of life run down my face and leave my pillow a little damp.

I used to pick myself up when I fell; strangely I’ve been finding comfort in feeling the earth under my body and just lying there, longing to feel the pulse. 

I used to fight off the numbing feeling. Now, to be numb is all I know.

I used to dream of things wonderful and impossible. I believed that someday I would find an adventure that took up the rest of my days. That adventure was life, and it was not as colourful as I was lead to believe. Rather bleak really, setting into a monotonous schedule.

I used to be timid and gentle. Compassion for the sad souls I saw around me would drown my heart. Along my journey I became afraid. Scared of heartache and terrified of trusting anyone to get close to me. Fear of being caught vulnerable ever again. This fear and hurt mixed in my heart, and made me angry. Shocked by the growing fury I withdrew into myself. Till all the fear was gone, now I was just angry. Anger works only with one other emotion, and his name is hate. How did these two take over my life?

I used to think I was strong. But like a cancer spreading, these dark forces slowly ate away at everything I thought I was as a person. They took away my trust and beliefs. They left me as a fading shadow on the wall, there is no longer any detailing of the heart I once had. Just the outline of a girl I vaguely remember, a whisper of the beliefs I used to stand for, an echo of a lost soul.

Dear July

Dear July,

You have taught me some valuable life lessons;

-That sometimes its more important to put enegy into feeding people, 

and less in to stressing to keep the house clean.

-Not to sweat the small stuff, (washing currently in the rain, I'll deal with you later!)

-That drinking tea, and chats with family is so worth running by the seat of my pants to get to work on time.

I know that totally letting myself off the hook is NOT the lesson here,

But today, 

I enjoyed watching the rain land in puddles,

and drawing hearts in fogged up windows.

Have a lovely Tuesday,

Love 

Sarah-Mechelle

Mr & Mrs: Bouquet

There are moments in your life that you imagine how you might feel when they happen to you. As many girls before me, one such moment was getting to throw the bouquet at my wedding.

Nothing prepared me for seeing it land in my sisters hands!

Enjoy your week,

Love,

Sarah-Mechelle

MR & MRS

 I want to be with you always, 

just as you are. 

I choose you above all others to share my life with me in marriage. 

I love you for yourself and I want you to become all that you can be. 

I promise to honour this pledge,

till all the stars burn away.

 

 I'm really excited to share all the details with you, 

I'll keep them to bite size pieces.

Love,

(Mrs) Sarah-Mechelle

Skyfire 2013

It is no secret that I love fireworks! 

I love the squeak they make as they shoot up into the sky, 

I love the bang as they explode 

and I love the array of colours they spread across the sky. 

I'm hooked!

Had a wonderful evening picnicing and sky gazing with some devine company.

Never stop looking.

Love

Sarah-Mechelle

Today

Spent my first full day operating this mill, which has been part of the family business for so many years. When I was little, and we would spend time at the workshop (which at that time was 40 minutes away and not part of our home block.) I would turn these handles just the smallest amount, they just ask for you to play with them. I couldn't help but feel a little like the Doctor trying to fly the Tardis by himself, as I kept forgetting which way to turn the handles with which way that would move the bed of the machine, and in turn my job. My dad is a total pro on here, he would definitely drive the Tardis single handed... He just doesn't know it yet.

I learned something new today, it was a good day.

January Favourites 2013

Hello Lovelies,

A little late, but here are the things I've been loving in January.

Bioderma Sebium h2o
Loreal Nutri Shine in colours Strawberry Juice and Pretty Peach
Loreal Color Riche in Majestic Green
Versabase cream
Bronze sequin skirt from Forever New
Black studded vest by Black Friday
Celebes Organic Coconut Water
Yarra Valley Goats Cheese
The Treachery of Beautiful Things by Ruth Frances Long
5k Runner App

Hope you have had a wonderful first month of 2013!

Xoxo,
Sarah-Mechelle 

Mini Hamburgers

Mince meat is quite a staple in our family, often this results in a chili dish, spaghetti, or some other wet kind of meal. However, after having enough of the norm for us, I decided to branch out and try something new... This is what happened.

Mini Hamburgers!

What I did...

1kg minced meat
1 large onion
2 eggs
5T tomato paste
2t chili paste (or flavoring of your choice)
Salt and Pepper to taste

Start by dicing the onion really fine, I tend not to like a big hunk of onion in my burger patties, however that is me. So I would suggest chopping as fine as you like. Then combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl.
Separate into balls, (I made mine about 1/4 cup worth as I was making minis)
 Flatten to achieve burger patty goodness and fry in a preheated pan for around 10 minutes.

I finished mine off by using English muffins for the bun, some sliced tomato, red onion, lettuce and cheese. There are so many ideas you could add, maybe pineapple or beetroot?

With the remanding mix I rolled and flattened into spare burgers, put a sheet of baking paper between each, wrapped in glad wrap and froze for a later date. Perfect to pull out on those 'don't feel like being creative days'.

Love
Sarah-Mechelle

It's Tradition....

 

Every Australia Day we enjoy taking a drive down to the coast... Among the many other delightful things we get up to, it has become part of the tradition to get fake tattoos.

This years line up.

Love

Sarah-Mechelle

Book Guilt

I need to confess something. Although 2012 was filled with many wonderful moments, there is something that didn't happen, AT ALL.. I did not finish reading a single book! 

*I hang my head in shame*

Even though I didn't get around to reading any books, I still kept on buying them. And for the first time in my life I find myself faced with a terrible guilt every time I walk past my bookshelves. 

I'm hoping to shame myself into diving into the pile, as there are some great sounding adventures to be had within their pages. 

I'm not one to give myself a reading list of what order I should read these in, rather I believe in finding a book for the frame of mind I am in at that time.

Do you guys have this same problem?

These beauties are waiting for me to begin their tale:

#The Map of Time by Felix J. Palma - I have started this one, though am yet to reach the end.

#Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman - My friend nearly fell over when she learned I hadn't read this book by Neil as we both share a love for his words.

#The Well by Elizabeth Jolley

#The Surgeon of Crowthorne by Simon Winchester

#Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman

#The Leopard by Giuseppe Tomasi - An Italian novel I have long been meaning to acquaint 

#Dracula by Bram Stoker - Need I say more?

#This Thing of Darkness by Harry Thompson

#Wonder Struck by Brian Selznick - The same man brought us 'Hugo' of which both the written/drawn as well as filmed versions were a delight for the eyes.

#The Brightest Star in the Sky by Marian Keyes

There are others, though because they are more recent buys (and gifts, thank you Christmas!) I guess the guilt factor isn't as strong a pull as the above mentioned.

I'd love to know if anyone else has this same problem, or maybe you have read one of these?

Time to pull out the bookmark.

Love

Sarah-Mechelle

2012 A Year In Review

This past year has taught me to be brave, much more so than I wanted to be.

It has opened my eyes to understanding; taught me to fight my pride, and has wonderfully changed my heart toward people around me because of it.

2012 A year of ice skating dates with my mister

 2012 A year of falling ever further into a Doctor Who fan girl

2012 A year of being the 'new girl' at work

2012 A year we welcomed my first niece, (I expect many more!)

 

2012 A year of going blond

 2012 A year of finding oneself behind a machine centre with overalls on!

2012 A year of realising how blessed I am to have MY family.

2012 A year to start making YouTube videos

 2012 A year for feathers in your hair

2012 A year to get engaged to my Mister.

 2012 Brought with it much heart ache and fear; it had trials and trouble and never have I been victim to such doubt... However it ended with hope and faith renewed.

2013 bring it!!

Love 

Sarah-Mechelle

13 Thing Before 2013

Love,
Sarah-Mechelle

Life has cracks

When I was a child we attended this one church for many years; I grew up with these people around me all saying that 'The Lord had spoken to them' and 'Pointed them to their path'. In my youth I actually thought that there had been this great voice of God speak to them from the ceiling answering all their questions and calming their fears. I could not understand why God never spoke to me, was I doing something wrong?

It was only as I got older and realised the pretence behind their words that it became clear to me what the truth was, and what lengths people would go to fake it.

Here it is ready or not....

There is no answer to all our questions. There is stress and concern needed in all paths of life because that is our test in life. Its not always about something being right or wrong, but rather a choice that is given to each of us... turn left or right? If we each truly have our hearts in the right place to be encouraging to each other and are ever striving to do what is good and right, then will we not find forgiveness for our stumbling and mistakes?

There is not always Gods voice from above telling us what we should do. When did it start getting drilled into us that God always expects us to make the right choice? Before long you are driven to stress and a kind of depression in thinking that you can never measure up to all these fellow 'brothers' around you who love to read their bible five times a day, and can recite the whole book of John from memory.

When did we start believing that we could ever measure up, or that it was even required of us to?

God requires two things of us, to believe and love Him. He loves us for what we are, mistakes and all. And despite what the pompous would have us each believe, you cannot do anything else to earn or gain more of Gods love. He already did that for us.

Life has cracks, but beautiful things can grow in those cracks.

Courage

Hello Sweeties, 

You know those days when you have a thought on your mind that wont shake? Well, today this was on my heart...

Courage is a strange thing. It can be there without us knowing, yet a lack of it can hold us prisoners in our own lives. 

Sometime courage gets mixed up with stupid, yes I'm talking to you skydiver, wild animal tamer, hornets nest poker. True courage can be disguised as showing up, finding it within your heart to forgive. It takes courage to follow our dreams, when all odds say we will fail. Courage is taking that first step, its allowing your voice to speak your truth. The biggest illusion I have found is people think that courage takes a long time. Yet the honest truth is it only takes a few short seconds of courage to change your situation. What follows is the worlds reaction to a moment of utter fearlessness. 

Taking that second of courage doesn't mean that you suddenly don't fear the things that have kept you bound, it means that you have made a choice to no longer allow that fear to keep you from where you want to be. 

If there was a way I could harness the amazing freedom of courage, to remind me how wonderful it feels to take charge of your own way. That I might be more courageous in my every day. Instead of the lukewarm wimp I know my heart to be. Courage is believing in something enough to do it despite the negativity of reactions. Courage is standing up for something, deciding that no matter what happens after this moment of discomfort in admitting your truth, in standing up to your daemon you will follow your heart. 

Courage is not proud, nor does it gloat. Courage hides in small moments, it doesn't always let you know that its there. 

Thank you for listening to (reading) my rant. 

Love, 

Sarah~Mechelle

Graphic Novels

It has been no secret throughout my life that I lean on the nerdy end of the scale. Upon arriving home the other night I broke it to my parents that I'd just tipped the scales a little more in favor of nerds.

This I have achieved by the new (to me) discovery of the awesomeness that is graphic novels.

I know to many friends of mine in the nerd realm this sounds totally absurd to only having realised this great national treasure... But hear me out.

In a book shop I am in my top element. Many are the hours I have spent going up and down aisle searching for my next favourite author. However, cross the threshold of a comic book store... Get bombarded by superhero's to the max, or some crazy cult series that I'd have no hope of ever truly enjoying. The honest truth, its been pretty daunting in there!

But all that has changed now, as new amazing comic nerd friend at comic book shop has opened my eyes to the amazing world of graphic novels. Where Neil Gaiman and Jane Austen have a place on the shelves. And the Wonderful Wizard of Oz is brought to life with the cutest of illustrations. 

Needless to say, I left there a with bag in hand.

My loot consisting of,

Mouse Guard - Fall 1152 by David Petersen. Gosh what a great story it is thus far. The art work is nothing short of adorable!

Wonder Struck by Brian Selznick. Same author who brought out Hugo. This book couldn't be more beautiful. The drawings within a perfect blend of lead to paper. Greatly looking forward to reading this one, quite certain there will be a review when I'm finished.

Lastly... 

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Baum - Shanower - Young. How could I resist?!

Off to do some reading now... 

Love

Sarah-Mechelle